What People Don’t See About Sex Work

I love sex work. I have gone through a rollercoaster of feelings regarding the industry. There’s a lot of shame due to the stigma society has placed on it. In my first year in the industry, It was so strange wondering how people who know me would react, but you know what?  I just got on with it and although yes people close to me were surprised and in cases shocked, it was all actualy far more positive than i had ever expected.  I am here and willing to help you and take you under my wing if you need help and someone who knows and understands your life.

I have met the most amazing people in this line of work. These deep connections are something that I will always hold very close to my heart.  I love what I do, and I was tired of pretending that I don’t. I am even more tired of hiding it.

Misconceptions About Sex Workers

A lot of people view sex workers as not being smart people. I am educated, and I am currently working on another degree. Most of the women that I work with are also educated. I know from when I have shared my secret with people in my “civvie” life that think it’s dirty or gross. I am a very clean person.

When I hear sexual stories from my civvie friends, I am like, woah; I would never do that. I do a lot of research and background check the people I see. And the people I see I truly do connect with – If I sense that anything is off in the screening, I will not book. My safety is of the utmost importance to me.

All sex workers are different. We are human, and just like in any industry, all the people involved are different. Yes, I like money. Most people from normal society view us as gold diggers or money-hungry. With the money I make in the industry, I have created impressive businesses, events, volunteer opportunities, and non-profits. 

How Competitive Is The Sex Work Industry?

I think my price point for in any area is so important.

This business is very competitive

Challenges & Difficulties Facing Sex Workers

How we connect to people is on a deep level. I can’t speak for all sex workers, but for myself, I’ve had challenges when I see the same person every week, then all of a sudden I don’t hear from them again. This is part of the work and part of the transaction piece, so I get it, but I am still human and have a very big heart.

My main duo partner retired amidst a tour we were supposed to do together. She was one of my closest friends. When she retired, it felt like a breakup. I am still pretty sad about it all.

But another huge challenge is keeping the lies straight if you’re hiding your secret life. Many people will ask me where I am and what I’m doing. I can’t tell them that I’m flying here or there because that will get more questions. People in my personal life who do not know all of me assume I sit at home with my cats all the time. 

Will The Situation Change For Sex Workers In Future?

To be successful in this career, you have to keep a strong balance. Open your heart enough to connect fully. Connection is the main piece of fully healing. But also, keep up a boundary so that you don’t become too attached and hurt. The tools that I use in sex work are the same tools I use with therapy clients.

For me, a good self-care routine is essential: Meditation, yoga, rituals, journaling, reading, and being out in nature. It is also vital that you feel yourself coming out of balance to take a step back, deep breath, and process it all. To me, sex-work is healing work, and if you, the healer, aren’t healed, that energy will transfer over to your client. 

Advice For Aspiring Sex Workers

Sex work can be a very beautiful experience. If you are not mentally aligned though, it can chew you up and spit you out. A good friends in the industry helps, having support, community, and advice has changed my life. Be careful who you allow yourself to connect with, though, not everyone is nice. 

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